Press release: the Muslim Umbrella Groups (MUGS) calls for the rebranding of Halloween to ‘Jinn Awareness Day’. Many Muslim children are taking part in the time honoured ritual of demanding sweets in lieu of socially sanctioned petty vandalism. However, these same Muslim children, along with their non-Muslim ghoulish friends, are unaware of Jinn.
MUGS spokes-parson Mullah Charles Balasubramaniamnarasimharao states ‘We grew up with Jinn stories, proper Jinn stories, not Disney genies or stories about Jinn and Tonics. Jinn stories have been used the world over to traumatise children, and we feel it is only fair we share this with our non-Muslim friends and neighbours.’
Mullah Charles continues, ‘On a personal note, I still do not travel through graveyards at night in case an old lady jumps on my back and turns into goat. I also urge residents in the UK to refrain from taunting men who appear to have exceptionally long fingers.’
‘traumatised’ is right. all the more so because if one dared scoff that women who died in childbirth did not take up homes in lone trees purely for the sake of terrifying goodness into passerby, you’d be reminded you’d not done your prayers that day.