There are plenty of naysayers who say Islam forbids celebrating Valentine’s Day, that we should be nice to our loved ones all year round. However, it is all based on the premise that Valentine’s Day is a purely Christian festival. The origins of Valentine’s Day are quite sketchy. Here is the true and definitive reason why Muslims should embrace Valentine’s Day in all its commercial, superficial glory
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The Muslim origins of Valentine’s Day
There once was a village in Muslimistan, where a young boy called Wali Nuteen lived. He was a kind, fun-loving adventurous boy, who was Sunni, practicing, tall, with a fair complexion, steady job and a healthy respect for Shia people, without appearing dogmatic. In fact, just the kind of description any Muslim lady scouring adverts on Muslim matrimonial sites would be happy with.
One day, Wali was walking along the main street of his village when he spied a beautiful lady. In an instant, he fell in love. The girl was called Begum; she was from a rival tribe. She was 23 years his senior, and already married. But he still, Walis love for Begum knew no bounds.
Usually, someone like Wali would be smacked silly at the very least by Begum’s husband, or by Begum’s family or more likely, by both. However, Wali was known as being an eccentric boy and decent if not very bright sort, so they didn’t kill him. Wali didn’t do much about his love either, just quietly waited for the right time.
Many years later, news reached Walis village that Begum’s husband had tragically chocked on his miswaak. Begum was distraught and her children fatherless. Wali, being the insensitive, selfish chap that people in love usually are, thought he had found his chance. Begum’s father, who was now 76, met with Wali.
“Your only chance with my daughter is if you can kiss your elbow”
For the next few days Wali wandered between his village and Begums village, vainly trying to kiss his elbows. At last, he couldn’t take it anymore. With the assistance of a local blacksmith, Wali dislocated both shoulders, and kissed both his elbows. Triumphant, he staggered to Begums house.
However the awkward angle of his drooping arms, along with the screams of pain, looked like an insult to Begum’s father. He promptly shot Wali through the heart. Begum did not know any of this as she was on a recuperative trip to the seaside. Begum’s father was a very very clever man.
The locals used this story to warn children about love, and the story became ‘Wali Nuteen Day’, which after visits by Crusaders, and many years of retelling, became ‘Valentine’s Day’. The moral, dear readers, is this:
Do not dislocate both your shoulders to kiss your elbows on Valentine’s Day, or any other day for that matter.
Extremely silly. And brilliant.
‘Wali Nuteen’ sounds like exactly what my mum would call ‘Valentine’
(She’s a lady with very eccentric pronounciations)
Its a great day for non muslims to find dates or add another notch under their belts, but not allowed in Islam. Please look up the real Pagen origin of this day.
The most common way of a young single muslim to meet and marry is to be introduced to a potential by the way of parental involvement. This method puts a lot of pressure on the young person and some accept marriage under some obligation to parents involvement.
Adila
http://www.imuslimmarriage.com
I’d definitely marry anyone who did that for me
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!
I thought the moral of the story was not to choke on your miswaak, lest your wife gets a seaside holiday without you….
I was choking on account of recent laryngitis and the brilliant humour. All it needed was an ever-ready po-faced Muslim comment: step forward, Adila!
There is a variation on this story from the great, illustrious, ancient history of English Muslims, spanning over three generations and several of the Home Counties:
Ahmad Wiggins, a handsome young postman from Kettering, had spied the frumpy beauty of a certain Meredith Splunger a number of times on his rounds as she was getting up to let the children out for a pee in the garden. He had fallen deeply, besottedly in love with her, not knowing if she was married, divorced, a single mum with kids from different dads, the recipient of donor sperm etc. etc. Yet his truly pious nature did not allow him to approach her until he was sure of her status in a shariah-like marital-like way.
In order to do this he came up with the cunning scheme: he would leave, every day, a postcard on her doorstep from a mysterious admirer, never forgetting to add his name and phone number and facebook ID in case she wanted to check out the pictures of his beard-in-progress. But never did he disclose that he was his postman; that would just be crude and invasive.
After a few months of this, Meredith worked out it was him and got a restraining order against poor Ahmed. To this day he haunts the streets of Kettering, outside of a 5-mile radius of her house, delivering mail to other people.
His beard now measures five feet eleven and gets in the way of his gears. All who pass him know him as ‘that weird convert bloke wot used to be called Brian’. And that is what happens when one falls for an older woman with non-housetrained children.
The End.
Hilarious…shared it on FB
Good one. Now you should also talk about the conspiracy to keeping the origin of Wali Nuteen day secret.